@TheMichaelRock: Kanye West compared his relationship with Kim Kardashian to Romeo and Juliet. So we won't have to deal with them too much longer, you guys.
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@LOUD_Thoughts_: I have a condition that I eat when I can't sleep. Its called Insom-nom-nom-nomnia.
@TheHyyyype: REP: we are pleased to provide u with the highest level of customer service! ME: oh sorry, got the wrong number. was tryin to call comcast
@Underchilde: Hey, remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? Good times!
@carlyken: "I'm a social activist. No seriously. I just changed my profile picture to a rainbow." -everyone on Facebook