@JennyJohnsonHi5: Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree.
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@MrJeberling: I got a shopping cart today with 4 working wheels, it was full of lingerie models and self confidence and I was dreaming
@catlikethiefx0: Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn't wave back so now she's got a new album coming out tomorrow.
@PaulyPeligroso: Guys, if a girl just wants to "be friends," then borrow $100 from her and never pay her back. Like a "friend" would.
@jonnysun: crime tip: secretley grease a cop's butt befor a car chase so when he slides acros the hood he'll slip off & keep on slidimg down the street