@JennyJohnsonHi5: Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree.
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@JessObsess: My husband won't let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn't want it scratched or bent but I can take care of his children daily.
@aveuaskew: "Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!" Exactly "What?" It's inflation "I hate you"
@RealSugarFree: I play a drinking game where i drink everytime i get an answer right on Jeopardy. Its a good way to stay sober.