@shopkins776: Karma Chameleon is my favorite song about lizards getting what's coming to them
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@iGreenMonk: Someone just saw me trying to take a picture of myself and now I have a dead body to bury.
@MyHairyLife: If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt.
@Sirrruh: Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though.
@Prof_BrianCocks: K1: Frankincence K2: Myrrh K3: Gold K1 & K2: WHAT? K3: Gold K1: We said £20 each! K3: I.. K1: I hate you K3: Wrap it from all of us?