@Jandalize: Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm.
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@robfee: Dads in horror movies always have the most chill explanations. "Our son is covered in pentagrams!" Well maybe he's just allergic to dairy.
@ckretmsage: I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down tweets at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
@AllanCresswell: Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep.
@704919828: Apparently googling "how to get suspended with pay" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer.