@Lowenaffchen: Katana is Japanese for "sword". In Japan they have great respect for swords and their moms dont knock them off the wall while vacuuming
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@HeidiCF8: Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a mexican drug lord.
@animadvertguy: WIFE: really? ME: uh? WIFE: 20 mins and you haven't noticed? ME: oh! hair looks nice, hun WIFE: [crossing her 1 arm] I had my surgery today.
@calluptome: We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
@haleysfalling: [showing people around museum] and if u look to ur left you'll see a bunch of uppity people who get reaaal weird when you lick the paintings