@FattMernandez: Katy Perry is such an inspiration to all those young girls out there who want to grow up and ride giant golden tigers.
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@JediGigi: I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty.
@thulnicolle: Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
@alextranquada: A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You’ve made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?
@Dil_Tron: [bar closing time] Do you wanna come over to my place? Her (flirtatious af): oh yeah Ok hold on.. *dials phone* Mom? Can you pick me up now?