@js_jacques: Keanu Reeves, sure, but then Keanu comes back a rittle bit rater.
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@TheAlexNevil: “Danger” was my middle name until I had it legally changed to “No, I’m good, thanks.”
@SondraDeeMe: Me: Please, I beg of you, let me pet him one last time! I get separation anxiety! Him: I’m just out walking my dog, lady.
@asimplesean: Actually, until you cut into it it's chocolate *magma* cake. If you could just bring me a menu with the proper nomenclature that'd be great.
@DaddyJew: Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you