@js_jacques: Keanu Reeves, sure, but then Keanu comes back a rittle bit rater.
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@gogglepossum: [1st date] Me: don't let him know you're a lobster Him: we should check out my hot-tub later Me: 'yeah...sure' *nervously clicks claws*
@meganamram: I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though
@Sheila_Mac420: Sometimes, I just want to be taken seriously. And sometimes, I just want to be taken, seriously.
@KentWGraham: I’m starting to think my wife is only having sex with me to improve her FitBit stats.