@howe007: Keep ignoring my texts and I swear to God I’ll leave a voicemail.
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@ShesARealGenius: Me, at a romantic movie: pffft like that would ever happen Me, at any other genre movie: YES I ABSOLUTELY ACCEPT THIS OUTLANDISH SCENARIO
@KalvinMacleod: 911 what's the emergency? "How do u unburn pizza?" U burnt a pizza "Yes" I'll send a squad car "Ok will they help?" No ur under arrest
@Lhlodder: My daughter will not be fully comfortable until she finds a spot to sit on the living room floor that perfectly blocks her sister’s view of the television.