@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.
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@TheTweetOfGod: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes.
@_green723: If you successfully toss a quarter 5 times through the moving blades of a ceiling fan, you are talented and stoned.
@PartyBitchKayla: advice to my younger self: dont bang that old man on his helicopter he’s not joe biden