@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.
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@AndyAsAdjective: coworker: those are some crazy socks me: well I guess th- socks: THE GOVERNMENT RECORDS ALL OF OUR PHONE CALLS & IS HIDING UFO EVIDENCE
@chimneyspotter: GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk, please just stop!
@ashlar36: Fact: Canadians are legally allowed to be late for work once a week for 'reindeer related delays.'