@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.
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@sportswithjohn: Commentator just said that the rain "may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation," which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife and I play this fun game at home where one of us says, "Could you watch the kids for a minute?" and runs.
@007Rex_Inc: There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them.