@aveuaskew: Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
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@McJesse: Are racist people like "ugh, my open minded uncle is going to be at Thanksgiving this year."
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?
@Kauaibride: i make my smoothies with a handful of kale, parsley, cabbage, broccoli, lemon zest and ice and blend it all in the garbage disposal.
@PlatinumShower: I just used "volumizing" shampoo for the first time.... Everything sounds the same.