@aveuaskew: Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
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@Mom_Overboard: Do the things that bring you joy. Bake cookies. Take walks along the beach at sunset. Drink the blood of your enemies as part of an ancient incantation that opens a portal to the Underworld. Sing like no one can hear you.
@KentWGraham: When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
@secondofhername: Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know...