@aveuaskew: Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
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@patnspankme: This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer
@Jake_Vig: Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don't want to get up there and there's no coffee.
@IGotsSmarts: She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
@NervousJr: Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise.