@usedwigs: Keep slugs out of your garden by building a tiny slug-sized amusement park next to it with slow safe rides.
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@Mindless4Miles: Hopefully women like a mature man. Because when I say I can do it multiple times a day, I mean vacuum.
@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy.
@AnOrangeSNES: In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious
@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift