@usedwigs: Keep slugs out of your garden by building a tiny slug-sized amusement park next to it with slow safe rides.
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@realHamOnWry: I don't understand people who practice polygamy. Why would anyone want more than one mother-in-law?
@rockymomax: wife: [walks in door] so whats the big news? -the baby walked! wife: OMG where is he? -i sent him to the store for an ice cream cake
@joeljeffrey: I'm not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.