@panmidwest: Keep things interesting by delicately sneaking ice cubes into your friends' pockets
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@woodmuffin: Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(
@tchrquotes: What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?
@lecalabara: Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!