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@E_lok44: Keep your friends' cake
and your enemies' cake.
@AristotlesNZ: No, I don't hate you. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die.
@MythicPicnic: Home alone tonight
The fridge is making weird noises
I think the beer wants out....
@causticbob: "Susan, will you marry me?"
"Oh yes Johnny, yes! Yes!"
Ten grand later and it's still the best prank I ever pulled on my twin brother.
@ThatRascalPuff: Gramps: *on deathbed* I feel like Im forgetting someth- *dies*
[2 yrs later]
Me: *knocking water outta my ears*
*quarter falls out*
@Bexdora: ROMEO:But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you.