@TheTweetOfGod: Keep your friends close and your asthma inhaler closer.
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@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.
@Reverend_Scott: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" From mommies. "How do they get inside?" CAN'T U ASK WHY THE SKY IS BLUE HAVEN'T U WONDERED ABOUT THAT
@PaulyPeligroso: If the light turns green & the guy behind you honks cause he thinks you're taking too long to go get out & start checking your tire pressure
@MrEmilyHeller: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.