@TheTweetOfGod: Keep your friends close and your asthma inhaler closer.
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@Burtslorp: *Jesus looks over bill from last supper* "It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver." "I got this!" Judas yells, almost too quickly.
@Awesome_Todd: Never run with scissors. Unless... • You stole them • You're running a 400 meter scissor relay • You're being chased by giant paper dolls
@FrogAvalanche: News Anchor: Our correspondent at the scene had this to say. *cut to correspondent* Correspondent: This.