@TheTweetOfGod: Keep your friends close and your asthma inhaler closer.
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@mrtimlong: When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."
@LoriLuvsShoes: How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
@VenusRockHobbit: If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite.