@butterwolf: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Marry your enemy. Grow old together. Watch your enemy die.
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@_Mo_lee_: Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go Bad Batman: Ben Affleck
@Brampersandon_: WIFE (noticing lipstick on my collar): have you been kissing another woman? ME: uhh MY DOG (with bright pink lips): go on, tell her
@gtfml: Never ask me "Who hurt you?" unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.
@splendidcynic: I don't really pay much attention to politics so basically what I'm asking is, does anyone know if it's still illegal to sell kids on eBay?