@Dr_powpow: Keep your friends close and your enemies in the trunk of your car.
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@HeyZeus666: I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down.
@lemonmartinis: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute
@Playing_Dad: Reporter: Is there anything you can do to make people hate you more? Rodger Goodell: Coldplay is doing the Super Bowl halftime show.