@BadassBarbie11: Keep your friends close and your enemies in urns.
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@chuuew: [forest] ME: Gotta be quiet if we're gonna catch Bigfoot FRIEND: We want Bigfoot not Bigear! ME: Haha BIGEAR: [sobs quietly in the distance]
@gruffybeard: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I'm scared. I *gasp* can't *gasp* breathe *gasp* again! 911: Sir, for the last time, unbutton your pants.
@mind_numb: I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me.
@Beesthegame: "Can someone call me a doctor?!" You're a doctor. "Please I'm losing my patience!" You're a terrible doctor.