@Dawn_M_: Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
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@JohnHilsen: You gotta admit that humans are the ultimate #1 lifeform because we're essentially half mermaid but we also have legs for kicking and stuff.
@BromanConsul: cute girl just saw me try to walk and drink water at the same time so dating her is off the table now
@BrosConfessions: "As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are " I haven't started either"
@Zombie_Kitv2: Even in a suit, Matthew McConaughey looks like he's just been rescued after two weeks lost in the desert.