@BuckyIsotope: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees.
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@hippieswordfish: CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them
@michowl: I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said "yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"
@Rollinintheseat: The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat