@YWIR: Keep your friends close, your enemies close, aliens not so close, ghosts close, snakes close, skeletons close, everything just in a big pile
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@AmericanGent69: Credit card company called to ask about some charges on my statement. It wasn’t a fraud check. They were just questioning my life choices.
@lucky_300: Her: I want to travel the world in the new year Me: I can see the whole universe in your eyes.. Her: I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD OKAY.
@PhilLaysheO: Just left a note on the ex's car saying "I STILL LOVE YOU" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep.
@desi_princess: Does Target have crack floating through their air vents? Went in to buy milk, came out with a giraffe, 6-pack, someone's kid, and a headache