@NicCageMatch: Keeping a blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@wilw: Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza.
@ojedge: [cash4gold] Man in a coat: [holding gold bar] "How much is this worth?" "It's 25 carats…" [8 rabbits rustle excitedly beneath trench-coat]
@SteveKoehler22: For fun, the next time you have an attractive waitress- Order a "quickie" then act surprised when she tells you it's pronounced "quiche"