@EyeSeeYou619: [keeps slapping empty glass ketchup bottle until the entire cafe is silent]
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?
@Ms_Moneypenny_: Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.