@funnybeachgirl: Kegels: because how else are you supposed to grind fresh coffee beans during a power outage?
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@flyafuckingkite: When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.
@kevinseccia: Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they'll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations.
@TheKegKiller: Me: You can't arrest me. I have to run a marathon today. Cop: Stop playing the race card.