@TeaPainUSA: Kelly Ayotte says "Donald Trump is absolutely a role model for kids." She's right, kids don't pay taxes either.
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@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.
@TheCatWhisprer: I'd rather get killed by the Blair Witch on the first night than have to camp another night.
@GrillinChillin9: I'm no scientist, but I'm sure that gravity is at it's strongest while laying in bed early in the mornings.
@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter