@Fred_Delicious: Kenya please explain why you called Chad a Niger? You Congo around using words like that or all of a Sudan you Ghana have no place Togo
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@truegritrumble: (At My Funeral) FRIEND: Of course he found a way to avoid paying me back my $20. ME: *muted snickering from the casket*
@Mr_Kapowski: Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked. So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head.
@randomlawless: When you get to my age, your milkshake still brings boys to the yard, but they're like "I'm lactose intolerant."
@Tmoney68: [Job Interview] Boss: What's your biggest weakness? Me: *pulls laminated card out & hands it to him* Card: "My over-preparedness."