@Spotzwoj: Kept nodding off at an estate auction and bought a garden gnome for 3 million dollars.
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@LaptopShopWH: When the atm charges you 3.50 to take out your own money but tells you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed
@dafloydsta: [asking a girl out] ME: So do you have a dog? HER: Yes, I do. She's very playful. ME: *nervously* Do you know if she's busy later?