@Spotzwoj: Kept nodding off at an estate auction and bought a garden gnome for 3 million dollars.
@robfee: The sequel to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is just a series of horrified people finding parts of missing kids in their chocolate bars
@iheartgunts: Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" is the best ever song about a silent but deadly fart.
@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.
@Sal0630: A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.