@Spotzwoj: Kept nodding off at an estate auction and bought a garden gnome for 3 million dollars.
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@msdanifernandez: [dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend
@simoncholland: Letting the grocery bagger bring my groceries out sounds nice but I can't handle trying to remember where I parked in front of a stranger.
@hazelmotes1: I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone.