@LittleLostLad: Kevin Spacey ordering a takeaway coffee from Starbucks and receiving the cup with 'Kevin E' written on the side.
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@AristotlesNZ: My psychiatrist says we need to work on my intimacy issues but then he's always the one who refuses to snuggle with me on his couch.
@Rachelnoise: 15: MOM, WHERE'S MY NIRVANA SHIRT?! Me: Name THREE songs & I'll help you look for it. 15: ...
@Owl_Meat: *puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt
@ComedicBust: *On my Deathbed* Me: Tell Tac.. *cough* Wife: What sweetie? Tell who what?! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..