@hell_homer: kicked out of church. I yelled "YEAH WE "HAVE A MARIA", SHE'S MY AUNT, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING IT WEIRD". mustve gotten too close 2 the truth
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@JosephScrimshaw: Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.
@DamonHunzeker: Curiosity gave the cat slightly high blood pressure but nothing to be concerned about.
@Blarebare: I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face.
@Tommytoughstuff: That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy.