@hell_homer: kicked out of church. I yelled "YEAH WE "HAVE A MARIA", SHE'S MY AUNT, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING IT WEIRD". mustve gotten too close 2 the truth
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@remmarg_yelsel: I'd definitely watch a show with Dr. Phil going door to door reading people's Google search history out-loud with the most judgmental stare.
@clindsaysway: I like to make a guy feel welcome in the morning by surrounding him with stuffed animals while he sleeps.
@Schmoodles: Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer.
@dru0887: If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?