@sharkies3: Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn
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@POTerritory: The only thing more predictable than the conspiracy theories is some people's inability to distinguish Indonesia from Malaysia. #AirAsia
@lilgapeach30: Daaaaamn boy. Are you an Adobe update? Cause you keep showing up and I still don't want you.
@WittySassBasket: I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic.