@sharkies3: Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn
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@jennyjaffe: "Tender and mild" is a great way to describe chicken and a TERRIBLE way to describe a holy infant.
@briangaar: And I don't want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn't cold, save it for the elves, Santa
@realHamOnWry: As a bachelor I learned to separate my laundry into three piles; dirty, not so bad, and I could wear this another two three times if needed.
@tuckerflodman: Hey girl, on a scale of 'Neo's mind in the beginning of The Matrix' and 'Neo's mind at the end', how free are you tonight?