@sharkies3: Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn
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@Rollmaninoz: Superman: Look, Lois! Up in the sky! It's a bird! *squints* It's a plane... *puts on glasses* Oh, it's a plane. Lois: CLARK?!?
@TommyWallace: [Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"
@WigCannon: before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask "how'd you get up there" and they'd be like "i don't know"