@ImLeslieChow: Kidnapping is such a strong word. I prefer the term, "surprise adoption".
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@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]
@XplodingUnicorn: Ladies, if you don't want to answer a question from a guy, say, "I already TOLD you. You never listen." We have no idea if you're lying.
@jimmytorosian: Slave: I know a way to escape Hipster slave: My friend Harriet has a better way. You probably haven't heard of it. It's really underground.
@sip_at_home_mom: You know that kid on the field who's too busy spinning in circles to notice the ball coming at him? He's mine, and he's not even on a team.