@ImLeslieChow: Kidnapping is such a strong word. I prefer the term, "surprise adoption".
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@sarah1mc: I should probably see someone about my mental health, like a drug dealer or bartender or something.
@ElKnuckelhombre: My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said "HELP ME!". It was not.
@SamReidSays: Netflix, stop making me wait 15 seconds between episodes. I can't click because I'm eating cereal and a sandwich.
@ItsAndyRyan: Russian computer: "Enter password" Me: "Beef stew" Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"