@Maxine12333: Kids are easy to care for until they learn to roll over. After that you're never
sure what they're up to for the rest of their lives.
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@ThisOneSayz: *coworker stares at me as I unpack lunch* Me: leave CW: why? Me: I'm never bringing a banana to work again, okay Todd!?!?
@mexinonblonde: *crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*
@SICKOFWOLVES: MOVING IS AWESOME I GET TO PACK UP ALL MY THINGS AND SLOWLY REALIZE THAT THE MATERIAL GOODS I SPENT YEARS WORKING TO AFFORD HAVE BECOME AN ANCHOR FROM WHICH I WILL NEVER BE FREE OH AND I MUST FORWARD MY MAIL
@bingowings14: A tweet about the Titanic & speech impediments? Unthinkable.
@Andee_Stewart: Based on the amount of tools I've dated, you'd think I got a deal at The Home Depot
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