@KKAlThani: Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours.
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@smells_fine: [God creating the raccoon] God: make it cute with a lil mask Angel: haha aw okay God: also make it eat trash
@WilliamAder: I once walked out of a movie because the actor's fake typing was so bad.
@squirrel74wkgn: My wife's fish net stockings are so tight that my legs look like wafer cookies when I take them off.
@drewtoothpaste: 2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files.
@TheLastVirgo: The moral of Little Red Riding Hood is: 1) Never trust strangers; 2) Learn to differentiate facial features between a wild dog & a human.
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