@LittleHarmonica: Kids are like bears. If you play dead eventually they'll leave you alone.
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@Marlebean: I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
@shannonlaynee: captions that need to die: "so i did a thing" "today was ok" --a photo of a situation that is clearly more than ok "he's alright I guess"
@LizHackett: I've studied enough modern theater to know that inviting another couple over for dinner never ends well.
@PaperWash: [grocery store] dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying [baby keeps crying] me: wow, your baby does not listen