@LittleHarmonica: Kids are like bears. If you play dead eventually they'll leave you alone.
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@WilliamAder: I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
@WilliamAder: Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.