@WalkingOutside: Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, "What the hell have I done?"
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "What's your greatest weakness?" Alcohol "Umm ok, how about strengths?" *pouring him a shot* Sharing
@daemonic3: "Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* "Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"