@Bandersnaaatch: Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@murrman5: [commenting under wife’s facebook status where she thanks everyone for coming to our son’s bday party] do we have any mustard?
@NicestHippo: "It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside" ME: Oh thank god "It's who you are on the inside" ME: Dang
@iliezabeth: ME: can u pick me up in ur claws DRAGON: go AWAY dammit ME: can u just put me in ur mouth pls—I wanna look out from ur teeth like im in jail
@Poopy_Pizza_Pal: *boss trying to relate to younger employees* "Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"