@1Happytwit: Kids don't scare me cause their little arms aren't strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
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@DanMentos: who called it carrying your cell phone in your front pocket instead of hot signals in your area
@Smooheed: Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English
@Brampersandon_: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: grandma what big eyes you have WOLF: u really think I look like ur grandma? I should eat u just for that u dumb shit
@KrangTNelson: RUNNER: this is called "carbo-loading. we eat lots of heavy food ME: that's great. love it RUNNER: then we go for a nice long run ME: no