@1Happytwit: Kids don't scare me cause their little arms aren't strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
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@PyrBliss: I'm a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
@FilthyRichmond: People are so nosy, always asking me what I just injected into their neck. Don't worry about it!
@gmossii: My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism.