@pixelatedboat: Kids, if you want to succeed in journalism the way to do it is to suck at your job in a way that's useful to rich people
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sucittaM: Eventually we'll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it.
@Shut_up_Marissa: Whenever I’m at home drinking alone with my dog, I tell people I’m drinking with my dawg, so it sounds like I’m drinking with my cool friend
@rockymomax: [oval office] SECRETARY: (shrieks) there's a dead rat on my desk! PRESIDENT WHO IS A CAT: wow someone must really like you *winks*
@Jen_Mahabir: If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet with intelligent life - lets just make patterns in their crop and leave.