@carlyken: Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a "Do you like me: Yes or no?" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.
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@RidiculousSheri: Despite its deceivingly yummy smell, this bar of oatmeal almond soap tastes just like soap.
@Sassafrantz: [texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident.
@tarashoe: if i'm bleeding out in an alley & you approach me w/an app that would save me, but i'd have to login using facebook, i'd be fine w/just dyin
@Mr_Kapowski: *returns lost dog* Lady: That's not him. He was white Me: *holding a brown dog* He asked to swing by the salon. Add the color to my reward