@HuggyOnline: Kids these days can't do shit without #Google. When I was a kid I didn't have Google. So, I pretty much couldn't do shit.
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@AsphaltFarmboy: My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said "WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."
@crushingbort: #ThingsGirlsDoThatGuysHate tease a man and get all his attention while the second velociraptor ambushes him from his blind spot
@kelkulus: I'm stuck in a meeting where a guy keeps saying "utilize" and "leverage" and I'm wondering if I should tell him about the word "use".
@AnkCoupleTO: PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you