@iinkedZombie: Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus.
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@SamGrittner: Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life.
@10InchesPlus: "Welcome to the Association Against Acronyms & Abbreviations, your office is this way..." - "We should call it AAAA!" "You're fired."
@E_lok44: When a 230 lb man yells from the shower for a towel, but you hand him a face cloth, he won't find it nearly as funny as you do.