@iinkedZombie: Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus.
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@PaperWash: [Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' "That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired" [later googling Sextuple] "Omg that's genius"
@aka_fatman: Dog Morpheus: Ok, Dog Neo. You take the grey pill, you wake up in your kennel. But if you take the GREY pill - I will show you the Matrix.
@haveigotnews: Apple launches new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album.
@DanielJHannan: Babies are very like governments, you know. Constant appetite at one end, constant mess at the other. And they only ever get bigger.