@Darlainky: Kids today will never know the joy of being selected to go outside to dust the erasers.
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@JasonLastname: My dentist recommended I sleep with a mouth guard, but I'm skeptical insurance even covers who I sleep with.
@yoyoha: Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law
@WilliamAder: Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't.
@jonnysun: job interview tip: show up wearig the exact same thing as ur interveiwer, whispre "dress for the job u want, right?" then just stare at them