@Darlainky: Kids today will never know the joy of being selected to go outside to dust the erasers.
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@wesleybordelon: Hey guys, what's the name of that movie where Michael Cera plays a socially awkward teenager?
@NateMorrising: I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery.
@BlackCatBettie: I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready.