@hazelmotes1: Kids, you'll never know the pain of digging the innards of a loved cassette out of a cheap stereo and crying as you wind it up with a pencil
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@TheQuietPsycho: I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore
@SalaciousSully: Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada
@superdadatron: Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don't know where I am.