@hazelmotes1: Kids, you'll never know the pain of digging the innards of a loved cassette out of a cheap stereo and crying as you wind it up with a pencil
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@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"
@NoogsCorner: Cop: Have you been drinking sir? Me: Medium Double Quarter Pounder meal please. Cop: Step out of the vehicle. Me: Sprite.