@dshack8: KiK? Nope. I only joke about divorce. I'm not committed to it actually happening.
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@topaz_kell: "I can hear my annoying neighbor crying to Adele's new song as she throws away her empty, clinking beer bottles." - my neighbor
@FredPirollo: "Sir can I ask you why you're smoking TWO huge cops?" Blunt, i'm *turns to camera* Doing this tweet wrong *Blunt just stares in confusion*
@jonnysun: last christmas i saved me some plums the very next day you ate them anyway next year to save me from tears i'll eat all my plums for dinner
@smithsara79: Soundgarden: Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain Neil deGrasse Tyson: Literally nothing about that is right