@ibid78: Kill me once, shame on me. Kill me twice, shaman you.
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@5hael: My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident
@ArfMeasures: "My friend got me a Fitbit" ME: Oh yeh, heard of them, haven't got one tho "u can buy them online" ME [whispering] u can buy friends online?
@junejuly12: People who hum in public must be blissfully unaware of how close to death they are at all times