@ibid78: Kill me once, shame on me. Kill me twice, shaman you.
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@WilliamRodgers: So I'm Calling random stores & saying "Hey It's Michael, Screw you guys, I quit!".... There's got to be a Michael at one of these places...
@dvoted_hubsand: I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like "thank God it Friday!" or "Im pregnant of baby"
@KeetPotato: cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: "the tigers should be your top priority" cop: [scribbling out ducks] "obviously"