@sad_tree: *Killer sneaks into my house to murder me but sees me practicing karate w/ my big stuffed dog I won from the carnival and changes his mind*
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@Rollmaninoz: Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* "oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'
@GoldenSpirals: The sign at the pool says, Children Under 12 Require Supervision. I guess anyone over 12 is allowed in with only normal eyesight.
@HatfieldAnne: When the instructions say so easy a child could do it, I assume you mean one of those genius 12-year-olds who double major at MIT.