@aecide: Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head.
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@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
@krustythe_klown: Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"? Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.
@JasonLastname: LOST DOG: 4 year old border collie. Still living at home but doesn't know what to do with his life.