@aveuaskew: Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
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@kelkulus: The Church of England rejected female bishops. How can women's rights expect to move forward if they're not even allowed to move diagonally?
@PaperWash: idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school
@TheSweetestD_: The only difference between a psychiatrist and a drug dealer is that the drug dealer doesn't make you wait an hour.