@aveuaskew: Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
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@SteveSuckington: "U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary." -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* "Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"
@mydanimarie: 911 what's your emergency? I FARTED ON THE FIRST DATE. Ma'am we don't-- IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION
@GrandadJFreeman: Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.
@MissBee73: You know why some people wear socks with sandals?Cos they've never been punched in the head for it.If you see an offender,do the right thing