@jonnysun: *kills time while waitimg for train*
oh no with time dead the train will never arrive
@weenbeans: will you marry me?
"OMG YES! I love you!!!"
*imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter*
I love you too
@DaddyJew: Doctor: are you an active marijuana user?
Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games
@HomeProbably: I don't trust people who keep their jackets on after they've arrived.
That's what I do when I'm going to escape.
@SandyEggoMonk: As I get older, I'm really just looking for Girls Gone Mild.
@QwertyJones3: If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they'd lose the alarm and just announce that there's free food by the stairs.