@michaelianblack: Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the "intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist" wing of the Democratic Party.
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@TheBoydP: All I'm saying is if you really want someone to dance with you, you probably shouldn't tell them to shut up.
@eyeswidebutt: if a bear is attacking you play dead and then play resurrection this will cause the bear to either worship u or deny ur existence
@rockymomax: [i bite into an apple and a swarm of bees comes flying out] "this gives me an idea for a restaurant"