@kelkulus: Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from "Leader of North Korea" to "Supreme Leader of North Korea" by adding sour cream and extra cheese.
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@BuckyIsotope: I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.
@cray_at_home_ma: What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore? Because that I totally get.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: Do you think men and women are just hardwired differently? ME [drinking a bottle of shampoo]: *bubble noises*